When I was in high school I worked at a burger restaurant as my part-time job. It has been many years since I worked there but there are two cases of peculiar customer behaviour that I still do not understand. So now we get to play a game, grab your deerstalker caps and magnifying glasses, because we've got some mysteries to solve:
The Case of the Super-Sizer:
I'm working on cash
When a rather large woman approaches
As I'm debating whether I should tell her that horizontal stripes probably wasn't the most flattering choice, she starts to order -
Hi, I would like a regular hamburger
Actually, make that a Double...
Oh, and can I get bacon on that...
And cheese, too, of course...
With a side of fries...
Yeah, make that a large...
With chili on top please...
And extra cheese!
I'm not trying to be mean. Obviously, even though she's overweight she can order whatever she wants... I don't know why she's overweight... it may not be from eating incredibly calorie-laden fast food, it could be genetic, or a gland problem, whatever.
But here's the part that got me:
ME:
Sure mam, would you like a drink with that?
HER:
Oh yes, what flavours of diet cola do you have?
Oh come on!
If you're ordering a huge bacon burger with cheese and everything AND incredibly loaded fries, being concerned about whether you're drinking diet vs. regular pop is like a vegetarian eating a steak and then worrying if the side soup contains beef broth. If you're going to go for it, just go for it. Like cool kids say when peer pressuring their friends to drink more at parties: Go Big or Go Home!
P.S. Before you say anything, I know that picture of the customer is unrealistic and exaggerated.
No one's hair is that red.
Next up:
The Case of the Picky Pickler
This day I'm working in the "dressing" area of the store, this is where people come and they get to choose what condiments they would like on their burgers.
So I ask the next customer what he would like on his burger.
Yeah, hi, I'll have lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, ketchup, mustard...
and then, he looks me straight in the eye, and says the following slowly. Emphasizing. Each. Word.
And... Exactly. Two. Pickles!!!!!!!!
So what's with the specificity?
Maybe he thinks I am a lunatic who is going to put a ridiculous amount of pickles on his burger unless I'm reigned in with his harsh demands.
Or maybe he is the scientific type who has previously conducted a pickle experiment
Fist he tried a burger with 1 pickle, and thought to himself "no, that's not nearly enough pickle". So he tried a burger with 3 pickles, but realized that was too much pickle, so then he tried a burger with 2 pickles and found that it was just right!
Then he realized he was a little girl with a fondness for crime and porridge.
Seriously though, I've taken science classes, that sort of experiment wouldn't work due to the nature of the pickle: its size is highly variable. 1 hearty pickle can easily give the same volume of pickleness as 2 size-challenged pickles.
You might think this is ridiculous, but it's not. And as a professional "dresser" I was more than qualified to put an appropriate amount of pickle(s) on the burger.
So detectives, any thoughts as to why Super-Sizer would choose diet cola when clearly calorie-counting is not a priority? Or why does the Pickler need two pickles only?
So detectives, any thoughts as to why Super-Sizer would choose diet cola when clearly calorie-counting is not a priority? Or why does the Pickler need two pickles only?
3 comments:
Customer service is the worst, my fave is people who ask for "everything" on their sandwhich and then go "except pickels, black olives, tomatoes, banana peppers and onions." Awesome, so what you want is "lettuce, mushrooms, green peppers and green olives" Why couldn't they just say that, why the "everything" when so clearly they only want some things. I also hate people at coffee shops who specify the temperature of the milk they would like in their latte. I'm supposed to make the milk in your latte between 150 and 160oF but now you want it to be 180oF or 190oF, you know what your going to get a burnt freaking awful tasting latte. And the justification is always "because I want it to be hot when I get to work!" You know how to do that? Buy a latte from the Starbucks near your work! Not the one a 30 minute drive away. Your just going to have a cold latte with burnt sour milk. Ugh, and don't even get me started on soy cappucinos, soy milk doesn't froth enough, its just impossible!
I would have to agree with the pickle dude, two pickles is the exact right amount for most burgers although I prefer to get lots so I can pick them off and eat them on the side separately.
broken beaker - The "everything but"ers are so annoying! I understand if you say "everything but (one thing)" but no more than one exclusion should be allowed.
Actually, I remember the first time someone said "everything". I didn't realize "everything" didn't literally mean EVERYTHING, but just the typical condiments. I rememeber taking a deep breath and thinking "Ok, he wants everything, let's do this" - I think I put like 8 sauces on that thing: ketchup, mustard, BBQ, mayo, spicy mayo, hot hot-sauce, mild hot-sauce, and Heinz 57. I also put both shredded lettuce, spinach, and romaine. I remember thinking what I good job I was doing because I went over to the salad area to obtain the spinach and romaine.
Devin - But what if they are dinky little pickles? Surely then you may want 3. Leave it to the Pros (AKA underpaid teenagers who had 12 minutes of training).
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