I Believe The Children Are The Future

A couple of months ago, the City of Toronto implemented a new green policy regarding plastic bags. Plastic bags now cost 5 cents. It's supposed to encourage people to use reusable shopping bags because plastic bags are bad for the environment.

The change has worked! It is amazing. It has only been a few months but I rarely see any plastic carrier bags! Everyone has these reusable bags and they use them religiously.

I have some. I have a cute little one that folds up so you can tuck it away in your purse. I use these reusable bags... most of the time. To be honest, they are sort of a pain. I understand bringing them when you know you are going shopping. The problem is I don't always know when I'm going to buy something. The solution is to constantly be prepared: always have a reusable bag on your person. This is annoying. I`m a minimalist when it comes to purses... the smaller the better. I pride myself on my ability to fit all my essentials into a tiny clutch. This reusable bag ruins this. Even folded, it`s the size of my clutch. So then I guess I have to wear a real purse... and I really don`t want to.

I imagine other minimalist purse people and guys have this same grievance against the reusable bags. It`s amazing then that the reusable bag trend has caught on so quickly! Do people really care about the environment that much? No.

Let's face it, most people aren't that committed to the environment. They'll recycle sure, maybe even buy a new light bulb... but stop eating meat? Have shorter, colder showers? Stop using their car? No way.
So why then are they willing to inconvenience themselves with the reusable bag? Is it the 5 cents? Are they that cheap? No. That's not it either. If the stores just added an extra 5 cents automatically to the bills to pay for the bags, no one would really care.

So what is it? I'll tell you what it is: shame and guilt. Ever since this policy started, it is embarrassing and shaming to carry a plastic bag. People judge you when you do.

Take this recent shopping trip I had. I was coming home from work when I popped in a shop because a DVD I wanted had been released.

 This is when it got ugly

So you can now understand why this policy has caught on.

Ok fine, I may have exaggerated a little bit... the cashier wasn't really that mean. Here's what actually happened:

Even though the cashier didn't actually say anything, I could feel it.

The End.

P.S. Yes, I did buy twilight. I know it's awful, I know it's stupid... but I really like it. I mean it's a hot perfect vampire who is absolutely obsessed and interested in everything this teenager has to say. Sometimes I wish someone was that interested in everything I said...

Yay Twilight! You're mine and now I can watch you over and over and over again!

Of Mice and Me

So there I was just happily sleeping one night When I was awoken by a terrifying noise coming from the kitchen.

After lying scared in my bed for a while I figured I ought to go investigate this strange noise. That's what they always do in horror movies, and it works for them.

I go to the kitchen and find the source of the noise

A poor mouse was trapped by a leg that had been caught in a mouse trap. He was bleeding and obviously in a lot of pain. I was disturbed by this.

I knew that I had to put the poor mouse out of it's misery. There was just no way a little mouse would survive a severed limb.

Now this may come as a surprise, but I've never killed an animal before. I didn't know how I was going to go about doing this. I thought about using a knife, but I'm a vegetarian and a wuss and there was no way I was going to be able to do that. After considerable thought,

I came up with the following plan:

Mice have little hearts, right? If I just scare him enough, he'll have a heart attack and die and it will be over with.

Yes, this is a great plan. This is a plan that would receive approval. Surely when this awful ordeal was over with I would be applauded for my courage to do the right thing in the most humane way possible.

Well that's the conclusion I came to with my frazzled and disturbed 4:27 AM brain.

So then I started throwing around anything and everything heavy I could find in an attempt to scare the mouse to death.

Fast-forward 20 minutes.

Now my floor was covered in heavy things, a bottle of Tide had broken and spilled all over the floor. The mouse was screaming and terrified, yet still very much alive.

My plan had failed miserably and I felt shame. I felt so much shame.

The rest of the night is hazy. But at some point someone came and took care of everything and I went back to bed and had terrible nightmares of the events that had passed.

The End.