Of Mice and Me

So there I was just happily sleeping one night When I was awoken by a terrifying noise coming from the kitchen.

After lying scared in my bed for a while I figured I ought to go investigate this strange noise. That's what they always do in horror movies, and it works for them.

I go to the kitchen and find the source of the noise

A poor mouse was trapped by a leg that had been caught in a mouse trap. He was bleeding and obviously in a lot of pain. I was disturbed by this.

I knew that I had to put the poor mouse out of it's misery. There was just no way a little mouse would survive a severed limb.

Now this may come as a surprise, but I've never killed an animal before. I didn't know how I was going to go about doing this. I thought about using a knife, but I'm a vegetarian and a wuss and there was no way I was going to be able to do that. After considerable thought,

I came up with the following plan:

Mice have little hearts, right? If I just scare him enough, he'll have a heart attack and die and it will be over with.

Yes, this is a great plan. This is a plan that would receive approval. Surely when this awful ordeal was over with I would be applauded for my courage to do the right thing in the most humane way possible.

Well that's the conclusion I came to with my frazzled and disturbed 4:27 AM brain.

So then I started throwing around anything and everything heavy I could find in an attempt to scare the mouse to death.

Fast-forward 20 minutes.

Now my floor was covered in heavy things, a bottle of Tide had broken and spilled all over the floor. The mouse was screaming and terrified, yet still very much alive.

My plan had failed miserably and I felt shame. I felt so much shame.

The rest of the night is hazy. But at some point someone came and took care of everything and I went back to bed and had terrible nightmares of the events that had passed.

The End.